18 December 2024
We get a lot of press releases in the FLYER offices, most of them meet the delete key fairly swiftly but hey, it’s Christmas and the CAA’s latest came with an embargo and a unique reference code so the leakers could be easily identified.
Normally any press release that survives the virtual bin of banality gets used as the start of the story, and we’ll do some research, maybe make a few calls and then write something of our own, but time’s short and there are mince pies to be eaten, so we’ll give you this one word for word.
That said, we’re an equal opportunities employer, so we also asked The Grinch to give us his take on things you can read that after you’ve worked your way through the CAA’s merry message
Father Christmas now has all the required approvals to fly on Christmas Eve. The Civil Aviation Authority has also confirmed that his sleigh has passed vital safety checks ahead of taking to the air.
Safety inspectors from the Civil Aviation Authority checked:
Andrew McConnell, Deputy Director of Communications at the UK Civil Aviation Authority, said:
“We’ve made a list and checked it twice and Santa is now cleared to fly on Christmas Eve.“But he won’t be the only one in the skies this festive season. If you’re jetting off on a Christmas getaway, it’s important to know your passenger rights before you travel.”The Civil Aviation Authority works to keep the aviation industry safe every day of the year – including Christmas!”
For all those not flying by sleigh this Christmas, the Civil Aviation Authority is encouraging passengers to ‘Know Before You Go’. This Christmas is expected to be the busiest for flying since before the pandemic. These six festive tips will help make flying easier:
Phew, now that’s over, let’s see what The Grinch has to say…
In a stunning display of bureaucratic festivity, the Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) has officially given Father Christmas the green light to enter UK airspace this Christmas Eve – but not before subjecting him to a sleigh-load of box-ticking and clipboard-wielding scrutiny.
Reports suggest that Santa’s sleigh was grounded for hours while CAA inspectors conducted their essential safety checks, proving once and for all that nothing – not even a magical, millennia-old operation – escapes the joyless grasp of British aviation red tape.
The Official Sleigh Safety Checklist (Because of Course There Is One):
Andrew McConnell, Deputy Director of Communications at the CAA, couldn’t resist throwing in a seasonal PSA, saying: “We’ve made a list and checked it twice, and Santa is now cleared to fly on Christmas Eve.” Charming. He then pivoted, with the swiftness of a reindeer avoiding a drone, to remind us all of our passenger rights, because nothing screams holiday spirit like compensation forms at 35,000 feet.
Santa vs. the CAA: A Festive Stand-off
It’s unclear if Santa required a Permit to Fly or a multi-entry slot allocation to cover his frenetic rooftop-to-rooftop schedule. Sources close to the North Pole confirm that Rudolph’s nose was briefly flagged as “non-compliant” under CAA lighting regulations, while Dasher and Dancer are said to have resisted demands to carry Mode S transponders. A North Pole spokesperson, speaking off the record, said:
“Honestly, we just told them we had an SMS [Safety Management System] and they went away. Santa’s been flying since long before the CAA existed.
Airspace Warning to Pilots
The CAA has urged all pilots operating on Christmas Eve to keep an eye out for a bright, fast-moving, non-radio equipped sleigh operating at FL Unreachable. But rest assured, Santa’s got all the paperwork – because Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas without the CAA making sure it’s safe, sensible, and utterly humourless.
