Flying with pilots you simply dislike…

An Air France crew’s spectacular failure to get along in flight resulted in two pilots coming to blows (and getting suspended) – and it brought to the fore a question I’ve long held, but never asked out loud. What’s the right way to fly with pilots that we just don’t like?

Fortunately, in GA, getting along is seldom a problem because our trips are largely discretionary, and going on aeroplane journeys with people we already admire tends to reinforce our existing bonds of friendship.

But we don’t always get to choose our flying companions. And in these times of deep divisions and cancellations, the art of getting along for prolonged periods in close quarters, sometimes under pressure, when we’re tired or ‘hangry’, is possibly a skill that is fairly rare.

So here are a few suggestions from military and airline crews, as well as cops and firefighters, who don’t have the luxury of avoiding people they’d rather not be around.

First, set boundaries If you don’t want to talk about politics, religion, or contract negotiations, agree to set those divisive matters aside at the outset.

Focus on the mission Stick to standard callouts and checklists and fly with self-discipline. Most airlines insist on a business-only ‘sterile’ cockpit below 10,000 feet, and you can extend that all the way up to cruising altitude if you desire.

If you’re feeling short-tempered or peeved, conceal it Rise above. Let it go. Shake it off. Win an Oscar with your convincing portrayal of a calm, even-keeled, unflappable flier, even when you don’t feel like one.Extend common courtesies, even if they seem undeserved

Simple things like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ can set a positive tone. If you know the other pilot likes peanut M&Ms, or beef jerky, or flavoured fizzy water, take some along to share.

Avoid sarcasm, and don’t expect special treatment A Gulfstream crew in a long line for departure at a busy airport recently asked a ground controller if they could take off ahead of another aeroplane from the same company. The pilot explained that his aeroplane was carrying baggage for the VIPs in the other aeroplane, and they didn’t want the VIPs to have to wait for their bags at their destination.

Their request was denied, and another crew member’s immediate retort was a sarcastic, “Well, thanks for nothing.” I can only imagine how toxic and negative the atmosphere in the Gulfstream cockpit must have been.

Don’t take the bait if you feel you’re being goaded And don’t try to change other pilots by showing them the errors of their ways. You’re as unlikely to change their views on abortion, tax policy, or party affiliation as they are to alter yours – so don’t try. There’s nothing to gain and much to lose.

Model the cockpit behaviour that you want to see I flew with a pilot in a Citation who surprised me by deploying the ground flaps as soon as the main landing gear touched down. When we briefed the next leg, I said that I’d deploy the ground flaps when the nosewheel touched down, and no sooner, to avoid a possible inadvertent pitch up. Point taken.

No pilot should tolerate abusive or unsafe behaviour But the things that irritate us often have more to do with style than substance.

For example, I recently flew a multiday Citation trip with a fellow pilot in the left seat who kept pushing buttons and twisting knobs on the multi-function display even though that was my domain as the right-seat pilot/instructor. I found it annoying because, frankly, I’m kind of fussy about the MFD and I had configured it the way I wanted.

However, my fellow flier was preparing to fly the Citation as a single pilot when he’d have to handle the entire avionics system by himself. So, I swallowed my annoyance and suggested he prepare for that next step by doing it all when we flew together. I’d back him up, but he’d tune and talk on the radios, run the checklists, and perform all tasks as if he were alone in the cockpit – and that turned out to be a big confidence booster for him.

I once flew across the Continent with a low-time pilot who had just purchased a Carbon Cub and needed some dual instruction. I’ve long been infatuated with backcountry aeroplanes and looked forward to the trip. But when we got to the starting line, it became obvious we were poles apart politically.

I told him I could buy an airline ticket home, or we could set world affairs aside for the couple or three days that it would take to get to the other side of the country. We agreed to put aside punditry for three days, and the flight turned out to be thoroughly enjoyable. By the time it ended, I had much more than grudging respect for the new Carbon Cub owner. He worked hard, learned fast, and stuck with it throughout our flying marathon.

Pilots often harbour elaborate sets of pet peeves Some insist on making the changeover to standard baro pressure at exactly 18,000ft, and not a moment early or late. Some insist on engaging the autopilot in vertical speed mode, and others in flight level change. Some insist on reading the moving map in North Up mode, and others (like me) in Track Up.

Some habitually ask air traffic controllers for shortcuts and seek to delay their descents by asking for pilot discretion.

Whether you happen to agree with them or not, giving them the benefit of any doubt is a good place to start. They may have reasons for doing things in particular ways that have nothing to do with trying to antagonise you.